In the criminal justice system all accused are entitled to a trial by a jury of their peers. However in most cases, the accused and the jurors would never be friends or even causal acquaintances. In fact, the jurors all ready hate the accused because if it wasn't for them doing something stupid the jurors wouldn't be here they would be at home with friends or at work with the causal acquaintances. These are their stories.
So I'm trying to move into a new house and pack up the old one when I find a jury questionnaire in my mailbox and the first thought that goes through my head is that I need to find someone who owns a Star Trek Uniform so that I may wear it when and if I get called in for more questioning. I know it's my civic duty to be on a jury, but considering I just paid Uncle Sam $300 for income taxes I'm not feeling very civic right now.
I'm think I should bring this blog in has proof that I'm not the person they want on a jury. I'm not sure why I'm feeling so hateful about serving on a jury. Maybe it's because I'm moving and I don't have the time to sit a room and listen to why so and so thought robbing the store sounded like a good idea. Maybe I'm stressed about missing work, we have jury pay, but it won't help me catch up on what I need to do and it makes other fall behind. Maybe I'm worried I'll be the hold out- the juror who feels the accused is really not guilty and I've seen what happens to hold out jurors on CSI...
Maybe it was the lack of creativity with the questionnaire that really got to me.
Seriously....they ask you in English if you understand English. My fiancee is a buzzkill about certain things and lying on the questionnaire about my language skills was one of the things he was being a drag about. He also would not let me lie about my car insurance status or where I worked. I had wanted to answer that not only did I speak English I also speak: Japanese, Jive, and L33T. I don't have car insurance right now due to my job on the Death Star translating Jive I don't need to commute.
I feel the need to tell them they are not getting a good diverse jury pool with such lackluster questions. Here are a few questions I feel they need to ask before asking anyone to serve on a jury.
Do you look forward to the zombie doomsday scenario just so you can legally kill people you hate after they become one of the undead?
Do you watch countless hours of crime TV? If so, which shows and do you feel that these show have prepared you for getting away with murder?
Which ending caused you more feelings of rage-The ending of Harry Potter or the ending of Lost? Please explain why.
Do you feel that making prisoners read or watch anything Twilight related is cruel and unusual punishment?
Yes I feel that we could get a unique jury pool from these questions. If not at least the jurors would get some sort of laugh considering what they are about to go though.
Oh well....I'm sure if I get picked I could always turn the exp into CSI fanfiction...unless I'm killed for being the hold out juror.
This will be my last blog at my current home, after we move and get settled I plan to pick this up again.